Rowan Spazzoli

I’m not a morning person. And it’s probably because my regular bedtime is between 1 and 2am, making an early start near impossible. Also, most days I don’t need to be anywhere early, so I can afford to wake up between 8 and 10am.

But over the last two days I’ve gotten up earlier than usual. On Friday I did a sunrise hike of Lions head, and I left the house at around 4.30am to get there. It was surreal, the city was sleeping and the air hung with an early morning sweetness. In some ways it reminded me of road trips when I was a kid, when we’d leave way before sunrise to beat the traffic. I enjoyed every bit of the hike.

Today I woke up at 6.30 for a park run. It’s not early by most standards, but it was still different for me. The park run was a fail but the day was really great.

Still not a morning person

I don’t think these experiences will change the way I organize my current day to day life. My most productive times are usually in the evening. And blogging always takes much longer than expected. I also find that being up late means I can reply to people without getting replies in return. So that’s when I get back to all my messages from the day.

Revamping my routine is unlikely to happen soon. But I think I’ll begin making space for the odd early morning adventure, because they really can be special.

And maybe, one day, I’ll become a morning person.

Image is taken from the window of the flat I’m staying at in Greenpoint. Ironically, that billboard was put up on Thursday and so I’ve been up early every day that it’s been up 🌞

Thesis update: more data work. Though I feel like I may have ended up confusing myself a bit today :/

Blog 76/365.

Today a friend of mine told me about the anthropological concept of a “liminal space“. A liminal space is a transitional or initial stage between two positions, states or boundaries. Examples of these include the time between finishing school and starting university, waiting to board a plane at the airport or being between jobs.

In this phase, a person is caught between their old habits/rituals/traditions and the new ones. The way they structure their lives hangs in the balance, waiting for a new order to take place.

Another way to look at would be that a person has moved away from their old personal institutions but has yet to develop new ones.

Navigating the liminal space

I’m undergoing a liminal stage at the moment. I’m about to finish my student life and properly begin my professional one. I’m also suddenly taking on far more responsibility in my personal life. And finally, there are big shifts happening with my friends and family.

Navigating this space is difficult, and I’m still not entirely sure how to do it. Part of the solution is to build temporary habits to tide myself over while maintaining old ones that keep a level of consistency in my life.

It’s an odd space to be in, and the lack of structure makes effective work difficult. It sometimes feels like I don’t know which way is up. But I know I’ll find my new normal soon. Either that’s or I’ll continue floating on through my liminal space 🙂

Image was taken at Cape Town international airport sometime last year.

Thesis update: got some writing done 🙂

Blog 74/365.

The feature picture above was taken in 2010, just before the Soccer World Cup. It was the only year that Lorenzo, Fabio and I would ever be at the same school together. Fabio was in Grade 0, Lorenzo was in Grade 10 and I was in Grade 12.

This week, Fabio went on Grade 8 camp which is basically an induction into high school. On Monday he will start his first day there.

It’s a little scary for me…. this milestone puts into perspective just how much time has passed since then. It also makes me realize how much has changed.

Exploring the Mental Yardstick

On the other hand, it’s interesting to use these occasions as comparative points. Because Grade 8 camp was such a big deal, I remember it in great detail. And I can bring to mind feelings, thoughts and experiences from then.

It strikes me how much more mature I thought I was then. I had reached the big league. And even though I remember feeling terrified, I felt very very grown up.

I also felt like I was contending with enormous issues, particularly at the end of grade 8. And though they were big for me at the time, the years since then have shown me that issues can have orders of magnitude much much higher.

After contemplating this, two notable thoughts arose. The first links to my five years forward post; that these yardsticks are important for putting your current position in context. When Fabio is 25 I’ll look back and think about the differences between the lives of a 25 year old and a 37 year old.

Secondly, it made me aware that, despite the issues of a 13 year old seeming insignificant from this distance, they most certainly are not. I know that at that age your problems are, let’s say, level 10. And at this age they can reach level 70. Level 10 looks easy from this angle. But when you’ve only ever dealt with level 9s, a level 10 will rock your world. Being cognizant of this informs how you approach and manage a person of that age. It creates an awareness and an understanding that can be more constructive towards a positive relationship with them.

Grade 8 and beyond

Seeing Fabio go on grade 8 camp stirred up all sorts of thoughts, memories and feelings. And they’ve been fun to explore. And I can’t wait to follow his development while gently looking back and tracking my own 🙂

Image was taken in Fabio’s grade 0 classroom on the last day of school before the World Cup 🙂

Thesis update: supervisor tried to postpone our meeting. I managed to catch him walking from his car so I held the meeting anyway. Got some great feedback

Blog 66/365.

“There’s a storyline in our mind about what we’re capable of and what our situation is. We create a framework which is liveable, and often that framework is quite limiting. We don’t see what’s outside of that.”

This quote comes from the Headspace session I did today. It came at just the right time, because I spent the day being really frustrated with myself.

I’d set up a storyline for how my day was meant to go. A framework of sorts, with what I was able to and should be doing. And it got derailed pretty early on in the day. And the more I tried to fight it, the more difficult it was to get out of it.

I’ve seen this happen with with me and some of my friends, especially over the holiday period. There are a whole bunch of things that we want to get done, from sorting out admin to starting new projects.

We produce threads around ourselves around what we should be doing. We weave webs of expectations. We make a netting that’s supposed to guide us.

But we sometimes get tangled in it.

And it’s hard to realise when we have.

And the only way get untangled is to take some space and realise that this web is our own fabrication. That we can question the assumptions and decide which threads should be there and which we should cut.

I know that meditation helps gain that perspective, and that is part of the reason that it is my one single new years resolution.

I got quite badly tangled today, but I’m learning to identify is quicker. And hopefully I’ll get better at untangling it too.

Image was taken on a run sometime last year. The trees seem to meet at the top like a web, with the mountain peaking out behind.

Blog 60/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

Thesis update: did my consulting project work today, so nothing to report on the thesis