#365of25 Archives - Page 19 of 26

Conversations with my supervisor

I chose my supervisor because I love the work that he does and the way that he thinks. Today I was reminded of that

I’ve spent much of my time in my thesis looking at my data. I’ve found correlations and relationships between a bunch of different variables.

I presented this to my supervisor, and over the course of an hour he brought my data to life. He helped me build causal pathways and understand how my information could be turned into knowledge.

What intrigued me more is how he kept emphasizing the story I needed to be telling. My thesis wasn’t just about dispensing facts. It was about weaving a narrative that drew literature and analysis together to form a complete story.

I’m feeling much more on track with my work now. And most importantly, more inspired. I can’t wait to complete it and share it with everyone.

Image is the reason I was able to get out of bed this morning. In the background is a plain croissant. In the foreground is a croissant cup filled with chocolate mouse and dark chocolate browmie bits. They’re from Jason’s. They were just as amazing as they look

Thesis update: great supervisor meeting 🙂

Blog 69/ 365.

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Published by rspazzoli on January 15, 2018 | Permalink

Watching the stars

I remember when I was younger, I’d stay at my gran’s house when my parents were away. After dinner we’d go into the yard with a picnic blanket, a torch, hot chocolate and a pamphlet sized, torn up guide that showed the stars and constellations.

We’d lie on the lawn, watch the sky and try to identify the constellations from our little handbook. I’d stare at the stars until they appeared to be falling towards us. And we’d only head back to the house if we’d begin to fall asleep.

Still gazing

Star gazing with my Gran was one of the best memories of my childhood. And it is the reason I find such joy in taking time to do it.Today my star gazing is a little more sophisticated. I have an app on my phone called Sky Guide which uses a combination of your GPS and accelerometer to help identify stars. It has an augmented reality mode, which fills in where the stars are in real time (like in the feature picture of this post). Also, by far my favorite feature is that it notifies you when objects are overhead, meaning you can see and identify satellites such as the international space station.This evening I drove out to Llandudno, which is one of the best viewing spots in Cape Town. It brought back some great memories from the past and was such an soothing way to take time off.

Epilogue

I was gonna end off the blog with some nostalgic advice or reflections. But here’s a brief story instead. While I was sitting watching the stars, I had my windows and sunroof open. I was also staying aware of my surroundings, just in case. I was busy being introspective, appreciating the scene and trying to think about what to write in the blog when suddenly a dog barked right outside my window. I nearly had a heart attack. A German Shepard had gently creeped up next to the car without me knowing and rocked my world. It then proceeded to walk away, as if it had achieved what it had set out to do. Anyway, here is a picture of it while it walked away, leaving me with my adrenaline rush

Feature mage was taken at a viewing point near Llandudno while using the sky guide app with the augmented reality setting on. ✨ Thesis update: took the day off 🙂

Blog 67/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

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Published by rspazzoli on January 13, 2018 | Permalink

The circle of life

The feature picture above was taken in 2010, just before the Soccer World Cup. It was the only year that Lorenzo, Fabio and I would ever be at the same school together. Fabio was in Grade 0, Lorenzo was in Grade 10 and I was in Grade 12.

This week, Fabio went on Grade 8 camp which is basically an induction into high school. On Monday he will start his first day there.

It’s a little scary for me…. this milestone puts into perspective just how much time has passed since then. It also makes me realize how much has changed.

Exploring the Mental Yardstick

On the other hand, it’s interesting to use these occasions as comparative points. Because Grade 8 camp was such a big deal, I remember it in great detail. And I can bring to mind feelings, thoughts and experiences from then.

It strikes me how much more mature I thought I was then. I had reached the big league. And even though I remember feeling terrified, I felt very very grown up.

I also felt like I was contending with enormous issues, particularly at the end of grade 8. And though they were big for me at the time, the years since then have shown me that issues can have orders of magnitude much much higher.

After contemplating this, two notable thoughts arose. The first links to my five years forward post; that these yardsticks are important for putting your current position in context. When Fabio is 25 I’ll look back and think about the differences between the lives of a 25 year old and a 37 year old.

Secondly, it made me aware that, despite the issues of a 13 year old seeming insignificant from this distance, they most certainly are not. I know that at that age your problems are, let’s say, level 10. And at this age they can reach level 70. Level 10 looks easy from this angle. But when you’ve only ever dealt with level 9s, a level 10 will rock your world. Being cognizant of this informs how you approach and manage a person of that age. It creates an awareness and an understanding that can be more constructive towards a positive relationship with them.

Grade 8 and beyond

Seeing Fabio go on grade 8 camp stirred up all sorts of thoughts, memories and feelings. And they’ve been fun to explore. And I can’t wait to follow his development while gently looking back and tracking my own 🙂

Image was taken in Fabio’s grade 0 classroom on the last day of school before the World Cup 🙂

Thesis update: supervisor tried to postpone our meeting. I managed to catch him walking from his car so I held the meeting anyway. Got some great feedback

Blog 66/365.

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Published by rspazzoli on January 12, 2018 | Permalink

Storyline reflecting reality

“It’s important to pause, calm the mind and witness our thoughts, if only to check that the storyline in our mind reflects reality”

– Headspace Daily Session 11 Jan 2017

The above quote from my meditation this morning stuck with me the whole day. It caused me to think about the times that I’ve carried storylines with me for weeks, months or even years that are outdated and no longer rooted in reality.

Storylines are important. They’re carried around as identifiers, as markers of who we are and what we’ve come from. We use them to portray who we are to others and to understand ourselves. They’re part of the narrative that describes our past and guides our future.

However, we often forget to check them and see if they need updating. We become so good at talking about the storyline that it becomes second nature. It plays in our head like a song on repeat and becomes background noise that we’re not even aware of.

Accounting for everything

An example from my life was in 2016 when I started my Masters. I’d fought for years and finally broken away from the accounting path that I had hated. I’d made it into my dream degree, the Masters in Economic Development, and I was so happy.

Yet the accounting storyline stuck in my mind. I’d use it to introduce myself wherever I went. I’d say “Hi, I’m Rowan. I studied accounting for a few years and hated it. But now I’m doing development”

It also still played in my mind all the time. I’d compare myself to my accounting friends and the experiences they were having. And I’d feel insecure about my decision despite knowing it was the right one.

Only when it was pointed out to me by my friend Lexi did I realise that I was holding on to an outdated storyline. We were walking around Capri in June 2016. It was 6 months after starting Masters and a week after we met 3 Nobel Prize winners in economics. She called me out on how my storyline no longer reflected my reality and that I needed to update it.

It was a massive revelation. It took me a little while to unpack, but once I did I was so much freer. And my thoughts and decisions began to match my new storyline.

Touch, pause, engage

I know that I am still likely to carry storylines with me that no longer reflect reality. We all are. But we need to make sure we stop every now and then, look inside and see what storylines we’re holding on to. And if they no longer reflect reality we need to allow ourselves the space to understand, unpack and update them.

In doing this, we’ll have more space in our minds to shape new storylines and influence our realities, now and in the future.

Image was taken on a boat in the Mediterranean, with Capri in the background. It was just after Lexi had called me out on my outdated storyline 🙂

Thesis update: bit of a frustrating day BUT I finally have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow!

Blog 65/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

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Published by rspazzoli on January 11, 2018 | Permalink

It has been decided

Today when I woke up, I had a fluttering thought that the day would be awesome. So I decided it was going to be.

And it was.

I don’t have this thought often. In fact, I never force myself to have it. It happens entirely spontaneously every now and again. As I’m waking up, the thought drifts by and I decide that it shall be so.

Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of amazing days regardless of whether I have this thought in the morning. But this thought feels almost like a guaranteed awesome day.

It also isn’t just unrelenting positivity. I’m not a very big fan of that. Positivity is often used to gloss over deeper issues. It has a fakeness to it that can be quite irritating, and it is difficult to maintain under stress.

But I don’t consider this little fluttering thought to be an act of positivity. Instead, it feels like a tiny, once off gift. I get to use it for the day, and nothing can derail it.

It might have been true from the start. It might have been a self fulfilling prophecy. But either way

Today was awesome.

Image is from tonight’s amazing dinner at Andalousse Moroccan Cuisine. Went with a few Masters friends had such a wholesome and enjoyable time

Thesis update: had an amazing finding in my data and found literature to support it!!!

Blog 63/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

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Published by rspazzoli on January 9, 2018 | Permalink

I like to ride my bicycle

At the end of 2013 I fell off my bicycle and dislocated my shoulder. After that, I dislocated it numerous times and ended up going for surgery in 2016. The experience kept me off my bike for 4 years.

Up until last month, my bike still had the dirt on it from the fall. I hadn’t touched it once since the incident. But I decided to give it another try, and brought it in for a service.

This evening I went on a ride on the promenade while listening to music. The sunset arched over the ocean and the sea breeze blew across me throughout the ride. I cycled gently, meandering through the crowd and paused occasionally to take pictures.

It made me realise how much I used to love cycling. Not for the exercise, but for the sense of freedom. The wind rushing over me, the quick bursts of speed and the momentum carrying me down the hill.

I know I’ll be spending more time on my bike this year. It puts me into such a great space and helps me break free from my worries, if only for a little bit

Image was taken on the peak above Clifton at sunset

Thesis Update: Read 3 papers, set up my Mendeley and got clarity on an area of focus

Blog 62/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

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Published by rspazzoli on January 7, 2018 | Permalink

The “paint by numbers” approach

I’ve been really struggling to get into a rhythm with work at the moment. Part of the problem is the sheer magnitude of the task ahead. I have no idea how to approach it. I keep getting overwhelmed and end up abandoning any effort at all.

Today I remembered some advice I got from a professor at our year end function. He said that a masters thesis is often the biggest academic endevour that a person has been on in that point in their career. There is a natural tendency toward wanting perfection and a desire to have some major impact with it.

However, he pointed out that you’re unlikely to be able to make any significant impact with your masters thesis. Instead, the purpose of the thesis is act as a training ground to shape your thinking and learn how to write at that level. So instead of trying to have an outward impact, focus on the inward development.

Paint by numbers

He added that a good way to approach it was the “paint by numbers” approach. Take the task and break into small chunks, acting as the framework for you to paint in. Each chunk is separate colour that needs to be filled in, which requires its own focus. You can’t try and colour two blocks in at the same time.

In doing this, you take a 25000 word task and break it into 5-10 chunks between 2500-5000 each. And in each of these areas, you’ll be able fill in the gaps until you have your final painting.

It’s not the most creative or innovative way of doing things. But it acts as a great way to train yourself while helping you achieve your goal.

Image was taken in Greepoint park today. I got a bit down and walked there to clear my mind. Ended up getting a little sunburnt but enjoyed it nonetheless

Thesis update: frustrating day but got my colour-by-numbers layout done which is nice

Blog 61/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

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Published by rspazzoli on January 6, 2018 | Permalink

Tangled in our own webs

“There’s a storyline in our mind about what we’re capable of and what our situation is. We create a framework which is liveable, and often that framework is quite limiting. We don’t see what’s outside of that.”

This quote comes from the Headspace session I did today. It came at just the right time, because I spent the day being really frustrated with myself.

I’d set up a storyline for how my day was meant to go. A framework of sorts, with what I was able to and should be doing. And it got derailed pretty early on in the day. And the more I tried to fight it, the more difficult it was to get out of it.

I’ve seen this happen with with me and some of my friends, especially over the holiday period. There are a whole bunch of things that we want to get done, from sorting out admin to starting new projects.

We produce threads around ourselves around what we should be doing. We weave webs of expectations. We make a netting that’s supposed to guide us.

But we sometimes get tangled in it.

And it’s hard to realise when we have.

And the only way get untangled is to take some space and realise that this web is our own fabrication. That we can question the assumptions and decide which threads should be there and which we should cut.

I know that meditation helps gain that perspective, and that is part of the reason that it is my one single new years resolution.

I got quite badly tangled today, but I’m learning to identify is quicker. And hopefully I’ll get better at untangling it too.

Image was taken on a run sometime last year. The trees seem to meet at the top like a web, with the mountain peaking out behind.

Blog 60/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

Thesis update: did my consulting project work today, so nothing to report on the thesis

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Published by rspazzoli on January 5, 2018 | Permalink