Rowan Spazzoli

As children we are given vast amounts of our own space. We have break time between classes, we get school holidays and we get plenty of time to do physical activities. These are all just a part of our schooling system, but they still allow us to get our own space fairly regularly

However, this changes drastically when you enter the working world. Your bosses, clients and colleagues will try and take as much from you as they’re possibly able to. Getting leave is difficult and limited, working over lunch/ in the evening is seen as heroic and getting exercise is seen as a luxury.

The problem then is that for the first 20 years of our life we are used to being given our own space. It happens whether we ask for it or not.

But once you leave the education system, there is no one that makes sure you get space. There is no mandatory leave or lunch breaks. Exercise isn’t built into your day.

And so we have to learn to ask for it. Learn that if we don’t fight for our space, then it will very quickly get taken away from us.

And naturally, this leads to fatigue and burnout.

So when you enter the working world, or even if you’re in it already, fight for your own space. Because unlike in school, no one is going to give it to you.

Image was taken at the Roodeplatt dam today during the Gauteng champs regatta

Blog: 356/365. Click here to read about my #365of25 journey

Song of the day: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

In April 2016 I had a week where my life seemed to fall apart. So many bad things happened to me in quick succession that it was difficult to keep track of them all. I was overwhelmed and scared and anxious.

I handled this by shutting out the world. I hid in my bed. I wallowed in self-pity. This was the only way I thought I could make it through that patch.

This week has also been really diffiult for me, both professionally and personally. And it’s been draining. But I feel like I’m handling it a lot better

This is probably the combination of many factors. Seeing my therapist was vital. Being on antidepressants has kept me stable. Having a routine means I have something to fall back on.

In addition to this, I understand myself and my emotions much better, and so do my friends. This means that I’m able to sooth myself and my friends are more easily able to step in.

As a child I often wondered how adults managed all the ups and downs of life, while balancing careers, families and friends. But now I know that this comes with experience and an acceptance that sometimes things are out of our control.

No one is able to handle anything the world throws at them. But we can choose to get better at managing the curve balls. We can actively learn, reflect and make changes to be able to deal with problems as they arise.

It’s a difficult journey. But in the end, life goes on. And the sooner we are able to learn this, the easier it’ll get down the line

Image was taken on the prom this afternoon 🙂 there was some weird cloud cover but the whole scene was pretty spectacular

Blog: 354/365

Song of the day: Paper Wings – Rise Against

Bonus song of the day: Memory – Sugarcult

Tomorrow I have one of the biggest pitches of my life. We’re asking a major corporate for some major funding so that we can have a major impact on South Africa.

Today was exhausting, but we managed to:

• Complete and polish our slide deck
• Make our pitch perfect
• Buy me new clothes (for anyone that knows me, this is a major accomplishment)
• Buy foods and snacks (v. important)
• Rework a component of our strategy
• Design a mock-ups of our final product
• Design pamphlet to go with the final product
• Print the mock-ups and pamphlet
• Reprint them because they needed to be perfect
• Cry
• Cry again but a little more gracefully
• Take selfies
• Draft a letter of intent to be signed in by the corporate after our meeting
• Clear out emails and messages we ignored during the day
• Eat
• Sleep

Tomorrow’s pitch is the culmination of years of work.

And yet we still don’t feel ready.

But for a moment like this, you can never quite feel ready.

It’s time to take the jump, let’s hope like hell our flying contraption works.

Image is from a lookout point in Citrusdal, while on a weekend away there with some of my favourite people.

Blog: 353/365.

Song of the day: Illenium – Crashing

I often get overwhelmed when I’m working. I have a sudden realisation about the volume of work that needs to be covered. Or I can’t get through the complexity of something, which throws me off course.

My normal approach used to be to double down. To force myself through. To sit in my chair and stare at the screen until something came to me.

The issue is that this made me more anxious. And compounded the problem I was facing.

But I’ve started something new.

When I first get overwhelmed I stop what I’m doing. I leave my computer. I go outside to my favourite bench.

I pause.

And I look up.

I allow myself to sit in that spot. And look up at the trees, across to the yachts in the dock or into this distance at Table Mountain and Signal Hill.

For as long as I want.

I pause until I get clarity. Until I am able to calm myself.

Once I feel like I have managed to do so, I get back up and go inside. And I am able to tackle the problem or overcome the obstacle.

Sometimes you don’t need brute force.

Sometimes you just need to pause. And look up

Image was taken looking up at the tree from my favourite reflection spot at the business school 🙂

Blog: 350/365. Click here to read about my #365of25 journey
Song of the day: Stars Fall Down - The Parlotones

P.s. thank you to everyone for the kind words after my last post <3

I remember getting to Grade 8 and feeling like a tiny ant compared to the staff and older students. I remember getting to my first year of university and feeling very small and insignificant compared to the lecturers and senior students. And I know that since finishing my undergrad I’ve felt like a tiny speck compared to the grown ups in the working world.

But I also remember being in Grade 12 and feeling like I could get anything done at the school. I remember getting the assistant lecturer position and feeling like I had access to the whole university. And now I feel like I’ve gotten roots in the working world.

There are many situations where a group of people will have significantly less power in their environment. This could be because of age or work experience…. but it can also be along race, gender or sexual orientation lines as well as other imbalances caused by the past.

When you’re in a position of power, whether as a Grade 12 student, a lecturer or someone higher up in a work environment, you can leverage your position to help those with less power. This might be as simple as introducing them to the right people or advocating for them when necessary.

The same applies to situations of historical imbalance.

It’s easy to say “there’s nothing I can do about the past.”

But you can.

Leverage your position. Help change the world.

Image was taken at the prom yesterday 🙂

Blog: 349/365. Click here to read about my #365of25 journey
Song of the day:Matthew Mole -Have I told you

P.s. I know I’ve been a bit slow on the blogs. But I’m still determined to get them done soon 🙂 

“My brilliance is best unfiltered, so take me as I am or don’t take me at all”

– Mo Malele

Today’s Friday shoutout goes to Mo Malele, one of the main people that motivated me to pursue my own path. Mo is one of the most exhilarating, creative and inspiring people I have ever had the fortune of interacting with. During our post grad accounting degree she made the leap to follow her dream, which catalyzed me into doing the same.

Side note: the motto used in our accounting degree by the lecturers was “#StayWithTheHerd”…. this didn’t sit well with Mo and Me. So our motto became #DeviateFromTheHerd

Mo has just started a blog for her writing and other creative pursuits. She also performs spoken word poetry and is soon to record an album. Oh, and she’s a Director Of Marketing And Business Development at BSK Marketing and was previously at P&G. 

You can follow her blog here  or at the address below:

https://momalele.wordpress.com/

And here is a video of her performing some of her spoken word:

Thank you for helping me find my own path Mo, for being so wonderful, and for taking the leap to #deviatefromtheheard

Image is of Mo and me on Jammie Plaza in 2016, after we decided to #deviatefromtheherd

Blog: 346/365. Click here to read about my #365of25 journey
Song of the day: Muse - Algorithm

I’ve always struggled with letting go of things. I cried for a few days when leaving my university residence in 2012. I was really upset when my mom sold her car. And throwing away things that hold memories is always really difficult for me.

Today I tried to alter this experience, with some advice from my therapist. Instead of attaching memories to items (“cathecting” in her words), I tried to keep in mind that all these memories are within me.

And so is all the knowledge. And all the feelings. 

It made packing up my old apartment so much easier. I was able to let go of so much, and was happy to do so 

One big achievement was throwing away all my university notes. Although they were useful at the time, they serve no purpose now. And most of them were printed by the departments. So I filled up two massive bin bags and took it all for recycling.

I know from experience that nostalgia can be really heavy sometimes. And scary too. But it helps to remember that all of these memories are carried inside us. So it’s okay to let the physical things go.

Image is the view of all my notes inside the paper recycling bin. The bin was empty before I started offloading my stuff

Blog: 342/365. Click here to read about my #365of25 journey
Song of the day: There you are - Pogo