Rowan Spazzoli

Strategist. Lecturer. Consultant

Taking it in my stride

My iPhone smashed today. I was sleepily making my morning coffee when I bumped it off the counter. It landed on the corner and, despite having a cover, it smashed into tiny fragments.

I’d fished this phone out of my cupboard after the robbery and, although it has been a little slow, it’s been great. But now it had turned into a little glass kaleidoscope. And it had completely lost touch sensitivity.

I picked it up, gave it as test and realised that I needed to replace the screen.

It technically went against all the plans I had for the day.

But I grabbed my diary and added it on to the to-do list. I shuffled my plans slightly and, next thing, everything fitted.

Into your stride

Once the phone had been broken, being angry at myself would have accomplished close to nothing. I’ve experienced this sort of admin before and it is hardly a blip on the radar now.

I’ve come to realise that you can expect these sort of things to happen at least once a year. One theft, one device breakage, one important document being lost, one car accident. And so this is part of every day life.

I got my phone fixed at weFix and returned by 4pm. It now works like new 🙂

P.s. I had the most incredible experience with my insurance \but I’ll save that for the Friday Shoutout 😉 🍍 

Images is of my broken phone this morning. It shattered completely. It no longer looks like this though 🙂

Blog: 211/365

Song of the day:Muse – Resistance

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Spending Money

Ever since I can remember I’ve had an odd feeling towards spending money. I’m not talking about the day to day items such as food or transport. My oddity has been around spending bigger sums of money: buying myself clothes, purchasing new tech or even buying big household goods.

I remember in 2003 I’d saved up all my money for almost a year to buy a new speaker/radio. I researched the one I wanted for ages. I’d chosen one that had CD/MP3 Disk and radio capability, as well as an alarm setting. While we were in Australia I finally bought it.

And the next day I was really upset.

Not that I didn’t love the device. I used it every day for nearly 4 years after that. I was upset because I felt like I shouldn’t be spending money. That I should rather hoard it and save as much as I can.

Part of this may have been a fear around whether I would get more money, which is something that lingers to this day. And part of it is that money is fungible. In theory, I could have spent my money in many ways, and I got to imagine that. But as soon as I bought the radio, I was locked in.

I’ve since tried to begin adapting this mindset. The idea isn’t to spend more money or be more irrational around spending it. And it doesn’t mean buying everything I want.

Instead, I’ve started to look at my needs and the utility of a purchase.

For example, I went shopping for comfy pants the other day (mine were stolen in the robbery… I mean, who steals a guys pants? That’s just rude. And they took my nachos. And Amarula. And my freaking keys… okay let’s move on).

I found two pairs of pants, both of which I really liked and both of which were on sale.

I initially thought to myself “I should only buy one of these, otherwise I’m wasting money”

But on second thought, I recognized that I would probably wear both of them really often. And when one was in the wash, I’d have the other to wear. It wasn’t a reckless decision, I was fulfilling a need.

Shifting

Recognising these in built quirks about ourselves is important, especially for managing the way we make decisions. I’m trying to learn to look at money differently, and understand that I’m allowed to use it to meet my needs. And I’ll slowly unpack this, one purchase at a time.

Image was taken today in the Greenpoint park while on my run 🙂

Blog: 210/365

Song of the day: Vengaboys – We’re going to Ibiza 

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Expectations

I caught up with a friend this evening who, last year, quit his job and moved to a small town. He sounded happier than he’s been in years.

I told him that he was sounding great, and he replied “yeah I’m so happy here even if it doesn’t live up to society’s expectations”.

This struck quite a chord with me. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with some of my own career decisions that have been good for me but have gone against the expectations. Either those of my family, friends or society as a whole.

The pressure of expectations is as much external as it is internal. Some of it is due to what people think we should be doing. But much of it is ourselves, and what we think that other people think we should be doing.

It’s easy to fall in to this trap, particularly if you don’t know what you want. You examine the expectations and try to line yourself up to them if you can.

But ultimately, this isn’t benefiting anyone.

The best way to make decisions is to learn to separate yourself from these thoughts. And the best way to do this is to decide what you want and what you need first.

This doesn’t mean running away and ditching capitalism.

You may be in need of a decent salary, or a house. And if you want those, then pursue them.

As long as your driving force isn’t to please someone else. To meet up to expectations that really don’t matter.

My friend is exactly where he needs to be. He’s doing what he wants to be doing and has found a way to make that sustainable. And it’s beautiful.

So don’t worry about the expectations. Cause they’re, probably, mostly in your head.

Image was taken in Moullie Point two weeks ago. We were sitting on the see-saw at the time 🙂

Blog: 209/365

Song of the day: Ocean Floors – Headphone Activist

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We met Draco Malfoy

Last night we were at Cabrito, a bar right next to our apartment. While I was chatting to a friend, she blurted:

“Omg that’s Tom Felton”

I turned around to see Draco himself walk in to the bar.

So, I casually walked up to the bar counter, ordered a round of tequila shots and offered some to him and his friend.

We then had a toast, took our shots and chatted briefly.

And later on we were able to get a selfie with him (even if the picture quality isn’t great).

He’s a really nice guy. Even if he was the cause of Dumbledore’s death 😉

Image is of us with our new friend Tom

Blog: 208/365

Song of the day: The Harry Potter Theme Song (aka Hedwig’s theme)

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The Friday Shoutout: FemWash

Today’s shout out goes to an amazing team of social entrepreneurs who are representing UCT at Oxford this weekend. They’ve done research and development work on a menstrual health and sanitation product for low-income African women, called FemWash.

They’re travelling to Oxford for the Map the System competition, which is for social entrepreneurs looking to make systemic changes in society. Myself and two friends were finalists in the competition last year and were given the opportunity to mentor FemWash before they headed out to England

A bit more background on Nyasha and FemWash can be found on recent Mail and Guardian article, which reads:

The multiskilled Nyasha Chimhandamba began her studies in Genetics and Biochemistry, earning an Honours Degree in Molecular and Cell Biology, and is currently pursuing a Masters Degree in Inclusive Innovation at the University of Cape Town’s Graduate School of Business.

This graduate entrepreneur is the co-owner of FemWash, a feminine hygiene management product which she co-developed.

If you’d like to follow the competition, watch the live-stream or attend the final (if you’re in Oxford this weekend) you can do so on the Skoll Facebook page.

Congratulations to Nyasha, Ru and the FemWash team. We’re super proud of you and wish you the best of luck! 😀

Image is of Nyasha and I after her last practice pitch on Wednesday

Blog: 207/354

Song of the day: Muse-Starlight

 

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Meditating out a rut

I find that meditation is one of the best ways to get out a rut. It is also one of my most under-utilised.

This morning I struggled to gain momentum. I was feeling heavy from things that had happened over the last few days. I’d also slept badly and had some really weird dreams.

And these thoughts and feelings were following me around as if they were tied to my ankle

I took some time to meditate. And in doing so, I was able to remove the weight. And be more in the moment.

It’s hard to get yourself to pause and realise that your baggage is unnecessary. But once you’re able to, it’s quite liberating.

Image is of our bonsai plant in our living room 🙂

Blog: 205/365

Song of the day: The Next Episode – Dr Dre

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Planning with the monkey

One of my favourite blog posts of all time is Why Procrastinators Procrastinate by Tim Urban. In it, he describes two different “brains”, one of the procrastinator, which looks like this:

NP brain

And the brain of the non-procrastinator, which looks like this:

P brain

As you can see, the main difference between the two is the instant gratification monkey. This monkey derails the rational decision maker constantly. He directs the procrastinator to seek food (even if he’s not hungry), meander through the internet, take naps and clean the house. All of this instead of working.

My brain looks like the procrastinators brain. Except the monkey is not a cute, innocent looking creature. I have an instant gratification gorilla called Dave and he is very prepared to beat the daylights out of my rational decision making side as often as possible.

black gorilla closed up photography

Actual picture of Dave, ready to ruin my day (Photo by Pixabay) 

So Dave is regularly able to derail my day. But it’s okay, I’m usually able to recover some productivity. And on deadline days, Dave lets me have an extra bit of time as long as I feed him properly.

A week with no Dave

Dave and I have gotten quite good at living together. However, I have a major problem:

I never take into account that Dave will still be around tomorrow, next week or next month

For example, I’ve said to myself that next week I have no appointments for anything. So I’ll be able to put in at least 50 hours of work. Which would be fine, if Dave didn’t exist.

But he does.

And so I will get some work done.

And Dave will take his share of time too.

I did the same thing with this week. I estimated the amount of time I would have to work based on the idea that I would be completely rational and able to stay focused for an outrageous amount of time.  And I do the same with most of my work.

When I then get to the time that has been planned, I realise that Dave is still around. And I’m sent into a panic when I try and achieve maximum output when, in fact, I have a giant gorilla distracting me.

What are you on about Rowan?

Hold your horses (and monkeys), there’s a point to this.

When I plan my life and time, I do so with the maximum objectives in mind. As if all my time is spent optimally and there are no hiccups along the way. And 99 times out of 100, there will be something that sets me off course. Whether it’s internal, with my instant gratification gorilla distracting me, or external, with my stuff being stolen

This makes me feel like I’m consistently not living up to my expectations. As if I’m failing, again and again.

But I’m not.

I’m actually just plodding along at normal Rowan pace. Though my expectations are set way above that. So I feel as if they are constantly being missed.

I try to plan my life as if there is no Dave. But I should plan it with the active recognition that he is around. That he will be here tomorrow, next week and next month. Therefore I can continue to fight him (and lose) or I can accept that he is going to be here and make room for him.

I should plan for a distraction. For tiredness. For unexpected events.

I need to plan with Dave. Set up time to drift off, allow for naps and the odd derailment.

And in doing this, I’ll set more reasonable and achievable expectations for myself. Allowing me to be less on edge and allowing Dave the play time he needs.

Image was taken at Cape Point a few weeks ago. I’ve uploaded a different picture of this guy before, but I’m still upset he stole our Doritos

Blog: 204/365

Song of the day:  Fin Evans – Never Forget You (Feat. Alex Foster)

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New ideas, everyday

A few weeks ago I read a blog by Seth Godin where he said he was completely out of ideas. After 16 years of blogging and over 8000 original posts, he had finally gone dry. The barrel was empty.

This struck a cord with me. I was only 170 posts in and I was starting to feel like I was running low on ideas. All the deep insights I had seemed to been used. Sometimes it felt like I was just rewording old ideas.

Maybe I only had around 150 ideas and they had been spent?

It was only  later, in a follow up blog, that Seth revealed it had been an April fools joke:

And today, give or take, is the sixteenth anniversary of this blog. Not quite on April Fool’s Day a bunch of years ago, but close enough. I feel badly that so many people were fooled by this morning’s post, and I’m grateful to those that wrote in with concern. But no, I was making a point, not telling the truth. It turns out that showing up is a great way to find new ideas, and I have no plans on stopping.

Despite knowing that it was light prank, it has played on my mind quite often. There are some nights that I just sit at the computer screen, not knowing where to start. And others where I’ll write a post, only to realize I wrote a similar one a few months before.

This was again brought to my attention today when a comment on my blog today said that it appeared I may be getting bored.

I thought about this and came to the conclusion that I wasn’t bored. I’ve been really enjoying my blogs over the past while.

Instead, I have run out of ideas. I’ve run out of my well formed ideas.

  • The ideas you spend years thinking of.
  • The ideas that you carry with you through different stages of your life.
  • The ideas that you have convinced yourself are absolutely true.

And now, I’ve started entering unfamiliar territory. A place where I have to conceive new ideas, challenge them and leave them open to scrutiny.

Where they haven’t had years to form. Where they might have gaps. And where I might not fully understand them.

It’s the next phase of my blogging and development. More rapid idea formation and more letting myself go.

I’m not out of ideas.

I’m just learning how to come up with them more quickly.

 

 

Image was taken in 2006, and this is a picture of that picture (I can’t find the original). The three brothers are in the picture, with Fabio looking how I feel at the end of the day

Blog: 202/365

Song of the day: Don’t stop me now – Queen

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