I tend to get really nostalgic over past memories. I’ll drive by an old hangout spot or see an old picture and feel a physical sadness (and even pain) over the memory that is recalled.
Part of the reason for this is that memories are captured, processed and brought back as a happier or more perfect time. They’re viewed in isolation, without the backdrop of what might have been happening at the time. In a way, they’re whitewashed to be a shimmering version of what was going on at the time.
The truth is that these memories were probably not perfect. For example, my memory of my trip at Orange river is one of pure freedom and unmatched bliss. But in reality, I was physically and emotionally broken from the exams and protests we had been through in the weeks proceeding that. And I dislocated my shoulder on the trip. And the after that we paddled in to the wind and it was unbelievably unpleasant. So the trip wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
Mix in some of the bad, get grey
Although the trip was wonderful, by reminding myself of the bad moments helps paint a better picture of it. In turn, the memory is still happy, but the nostalgia is more manageable.
It also makes me realise that, even if I’m going through a tough patch, it’s not all dark. There will be shining bright memories that come out of it too.
It’s less exciting to think that so much of our experience is in between the two extremes. But it also paints a more realistic picture of life. It stops the nostalgia from being overwhelming and makes the present a nicer space to be in. And finally, it brings a realisation that there is no reason to try and escape the grey. It’s where most of our lives are spent, with both the ups and the downs.
We don’t need to try run away from the dark and chase the light. We can be content with just existing in the middle
Image was taken over the weekend when the storm front was rolling in.
Song of the day: Sun is shining by Axwell^Ingrosso
Thesis update: had an admin day
Blog 78/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here