Rowan Spazzoli

Strategist. Lecturer. Consultant

Saying Goodbye to Students

My favourite teacher in high school was Mrs. Frankiskos, who took us for maths in Matric. Beyond being a phenomenal maths teacher, she would spend time chatting to us before and after class where she’d impart her wisdom and knowledge. We’d have conversations about current affairs, our potential careers, gossip from around the school and receive general life advice.

However, in the last few weeks of our final year these discussions happened less and less. In fact, she started to become colder towards us. I was confused by this, and approached her one day before class.

She said that the most difficult part of teaching for her was saying goodbye to the class at the end of the year. Seeing her students leave was painful because she had invested so much in getting to know and understand them. And suddenly they were gone.  So in the last few weeks of term, she’d pull back and try to divest and dissociate so that it hurt less.

I didn’t quite understand this until I begun teaching at the University. My first taste of it was with my management accounting students in 2014. When I said goodbye to my first two tutor groups I had such a sense of loss. I felt like I’d grown so close to them, and that I’d never get to interact with them again.

Over the past two years that feeling has only been amplified. In my role as an assistant lecturer (on the Strategic Thinking course), not only do I have more influence on their learning but I also interact more in consultation with certain students. I’ll often be involved in giving career advice, assisting with their startups and helping them get through the year

Furthermore, in both years I’ve been in charge of a team of tutors on the course. It is difficult not to get close to the tutors, as we have such great discussions and I get to guide them and watch them grow. And they also leave at the end of the year.

Finally, convening a course this semester (Management Theory in Practice) has resulted in the most difficult goodbye of them all. The class had 45 students, so it was small enough for me to get to know them all. I marked every one of their assignments and exams, including a deeply personal leadership manifesto which was the final paper for the course. I also got to know the businesses they had all started, and went along to events to support them whenever I could.

I’ve watched them grow, mature and change this semester. And knowing I won’t see many of them again is heartbreaking.

The Goodbye Message

On both courses today I sent out a goodbye message. It definitely made me feel more sad, but it also provided closure. In both messages, I thanked the students and said that if they ever wanted to reach out I’d always be happy to chat.

I included this quote in both messages:

“When you achieve your dreams, it’s not so much what you get, it’s who you become in achieving them” 

Henry David Thoreau

I think that, as with Mrs Frankiskos, saying goodbye is definitely going to be the most difficult part of teaching for me. Though I don’t think I’ll be able to employ the same strategy as her to ease the pain, I know I will develop my own one in time.

And despite being sad to see my students go, I can’t wait to see them flourish.

 

Image is taken at my old school during the rugby festival in 2011. I thought the rain was quite appropriate

 

Blog 40/365. Read more about my #365of25 journey here

 

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Finding and developing my (blogging) voice

Over the years I’ve attempted blogging a number of times. I have four or five blogs that have a couple of posts on them, and all of them have died out. So this is the first time that I’ve managed to blog consistently, and I think I have the momentum to sustain my writing.

Having overcome the hurdle of building a habit of writing, my next hurdle is finding and developing my blogging style. On this site I’m aiming to be a blend of personal-professional and academic-casual. However, I’m finding that striking this balance is quite difficult, and I tend towards professional/academic at times.

A previous blog of mine, that I had called “Parenthesis” was the opposite. The writing wasn’t very structured and most paragraphs would end in quirky comments set in brackets (kinda like this, but less forced). I enjoyed this style, but it was a bit too muddled for what I’m trying to achieve here.

I think that my style will develop in time, as I become more comfortable with writing. Additionally, as much as I’ve started to overcome it, the fear of my posts being out in public results in my writing being quite conservative. I don’t let myself be too weird, just in case a student or colleague of mine were to happy upon the site. Again, this will also develop with time.

My blogging inspirations

My ideal writing style would be a blend of my three favourite bloggers, with my own flavour coming through. The three bloggers below have inspired me to write and have had a significant influence on my thinking. They are:

  • Seth Godin – Seth is a business/marketing author who has written a number of best selling books. He was the person that inspired me to write daily. His blogs are sometimes less than 50 words, but contain such incredible nuggets of wisdom. My writing at the moment emulates him a little, but doesn’t have the same brevity
  • Tynan – Tynan is an adventure/writer/entrepreneur who lives the most incredible life. His blogs are always so interesting and are usually around building habits, travel and other cool things he’s doing. For example, he used to live permanently in a decked out RV, travelling the world (mostly spontaneously) with just a 50l backpack and recently he bought an island with 10 friends.
  • WaitButWhy – This blog is run by Tim Urban, and ultimately I’d like my writing style to be similar to his. It’s entertaining while still remaining  informative and interesting. His blogs are ridiculously long, so I might have to sprinkle a little Seth in to keep it brief

Over the course of the next few months, I’ll aim to develop my style into something that reflects me best.

I can’t wait to look back at in November next year and see how far I’ve come 🙂

Image is from last week Friday, when I had my chaotic day. I’d just been let on the plane because there was a free seat and I snuck a selfie on my way up the stairs. You can see just how happy I was to make it on to that flight

Blog number: 39/365

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Working on Sunday; Resting on Wednesday

My regular day and week looks quite different to that of other young professionals, particularly those in corporate. I usually wake up at around 8.30/9, and spend each day working on 3 or 4 projects. These might include lecturing, working on my startups, consulting or writing my thesis. I’ll usually stop working at about 2 or 3 in the morning. So my work day starts later and ends later than most.

My most productive day is normally a Sunday. I love working on Sundays because most people aren’t working, meaning I can clear out emails, get nice parking on campus and can get stuff done without distraction. I then usually rest on a Wednesday or Thursday, when the rest of the world is being busy.

Not All Good: The Problems

There are a few things about this schedule which don’t work so well:

  • Often I’ll be trying to get work done but am limited by the fact that other people aren’t working. For example, if I need to call someone and can’t because it’s 3 in the morning
  • Not having a boss is cool, but the problem is that I have no one to check up on me or to prod me when I’m going slow. So sometimes a few days will go by with very little work being done
  • Working on multiple projects at the same time means that some end up filling up too much time and others get shoved to the side

But Still Pretty Great: The Benefits

Some of the things that are awesome about this include:

  • Having complete control of my time means that I can set my priorities. For example, as discussed in previous post, when friends come to visit I can schedule my time around them.
  • One of my favourite things about this life is avoiding traffic. I only ever travel outside of rush hour, meaning that I’ve sat in traffic only a handful of times this year
  • I can set up my time for maximum enjoyment and spontaneity. I can do what I want when I want to, as long as I get my work done

Age of the Freelancer: Every day is Sunday

I can go on about the pros and cons of this life schedule, but will refrain from doing so. I don’t think it’s for everyone, and it is definitely a lot more difficult than it looks. You have to be your own boss, secretary and employee at the same time.

I think, though, that the world is moving towards this kind of flexible work. Technology has given us the ability to communicate fluidly and work dynamically. The only reason there is a lag in this type of work being adopted is that it isn’t what people are used to, a companies are still caught in old ways of doing things.

For me, I know I still have a long way to go until I have mastered it. I’ve been living in hierarchal structures my whole life. But this year I’ve learnt a lot about how to manage myself. And it means that, ultimately, I will have the autonomy to direct my time and energy where, when and how I want to.

And also, that any day can be my Sunday.

Image is from a trail run I went on with a friend around Devils Peak at 8am on a Tuesday morning. It was an epic run and I ended up getting home just after 11. Another perk of my flexible lifestype

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The Premeditated Shot

In cricket, a premeditated shot is one where you’ve decided what you’re going to play before the ball has been bowled. You’re going to stick to that shot regardless of what comes at you.

Sometimes this strategy works, and the payoff can be quite good. You might hit it out the park and make a few runs.

However, it is more likely that it doesn’t work out. You can end up missing the ball or losing your wicket. Either way, it is not a sustainable way to build an innings.

I’ve seen premeditated work done in exams too. Because the exams in my courses are open book, students will sometimes plan an answer out before seeing the question. The problem is when they either don’t get the question or get a slight variety of it. Often they will write out their premeditated answer anyway and end up losing out on marks as a result.

This anticipation is a way of mitigating uncertainty. It’s a simple plan for dealing with a myriad of potential outcomes.

Though it might feel safe in the build up to the uncertainty, it ultimately leaves us underprepared unless the exact scenario we are looking for pans out.

The best way to take on uncertainty isn’t to think out your shot before it. Instead, gather an understanding of the situation, plan out multiple potential approaches and then adjust for new information as arrives.

That way you’ll be able to handle anything that comes at you.

Image is from Rondebosch Boys school where we were playing cricket this afternoon.

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Whiskey, Cigars and Sunsets

Today a couple of frustrating things happened, including losing some of my stuff and an issue in one of my courses.

But I spent the evening with one of my best friends. We smoked Cuban cigars, drank Irish whiskey and watched a Cape Town sunset. We had a beautiful conversation about our lives and our hopes and dreams. And suddenly all of my worries and stresses from today and this year melted away

That moment might have only lasted a few hours. But it will live on with me forever.

Image is taken at Cape to Cuba where we had our cigars and whiskey and sunsets

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Friends and Their Number 1 Fan

I remember at a scholarship interview in grade 7 we were asked who our hero was. The blonde boy next to me answered “Nelson Mandela” and recited some facts and quotes that he’d committed to memory. I answered with “my friends are my heroes” and the interviewer told me that that was silly and that I needed to pick someone famous. The blonde kid got the scholarship.

Of course there are famous people that I admire and look up to. There are many people who I’d say I’m a fan of. But still, to this day, my friends will receive more of my fangirling than celebrities will.

I’ll support and cheer for my friends when they start businesses, when they perform in concerts, when they start a blog and when they chase crazy ideas. I’ll support them with my time and with my money in whatever way I can. I love bragging about my friends, and will be their hype man whenever the opportunity comes about

Because celebrities don’t really need your support. To them, you’re just a drop in an ocean. But to a friend, your support can catalyse their growth and inspire them to continue to reach for their dreams

What Goes Around

When I started this blog, I was scared that people would read it. But I was also scared that no one would read it. That I’d go unnoticed.

However, the support I’ve had from friends has been incredible. I know that Thabo is always there to listen to my rambles (hi Thabo, you’re the best <3). I know that family like my mom, Jacs, Charles and Caroline are always checking in and supporting me wherever they are in the world. I know that Holly, Marc, Chantelle, Jared and Janine are here for the ride, cheering me on the whole time.

It makes me feel like I’m writing for an audience. It inspires me every day to continue this journey.

And I know I might not have gotten the scholarship back in grade 7. But I still maintain that my heroes aren’t sports stars or celebrities. My heroes are my friends.

Image is from two weeks ago when I was having a rough day on campus. A friend of mine bought us both two Steri Stumpies each so we didn’t have to make the painful choice between strawberry and chocolate.

Also… thank you to Janine for inspiring this post. She’s also just started blogging, and you should check her blog out here

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Old friends

If there was a formula for friendship it would look something like this:

Depth of friendship = (shared experience)*(time)

As we grow older, we have less time available for building friendships. We also have less opportunities for shared experiences outside a work/professional context.

Today I got to spend the day with my old friends. The ones that I’ve spent lots of time and had many shared experience with.And even if I only see them once a year, the depth of friendship remains the same. And it can only get deeper.And even though I will make many friends in my life, these are the old friends. They’re the ones that know me. And they’re the ones that will be there for life

Image is from today at the rugby sevensPost title is inspired by the Jasmine Thomson song, “old friends” (both the original and the Jonas Blue remix)

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The Perks of Being Stoic

Today was so ridiculous that I accidentally got to practice being stoic for the first time. I’ve read about the concept before but never really tried to apply it.

A brief definitely of stoicism might read something like this:

Stoic philosophy asserts that virtue (such as wisdom) is happiness and judgment should be based on behavior, rather than words. That we don’t control and cannot rely on external events, only ourselves and our responses.- DailyStoic.com

Basically, it one of the key tenets of it is the idea that you can’t influence what happens to you but you can influence your reactions to it. In doing so, you’re able to weather anything that is thrown at you.

So I spent the day being stoic. And this is why:

  • I woke up at 4am for a 6am flight to Joburg. I needed to be in Pretoria for a meeting from 9.30-12
  • The plane was delayed by 2 hours.
  • I arrived at the meeting at 10.45
  • One person at the meeting was actively hostile towards me and went against almost every point I brought up
  • Got really bad news about a family member’s health
  • Got caught in the middle a major (unrelated) family fight.
  • Got back to the airport for my flight back to Cape Town. The flight had been overbooked and I had been kicked off it.

I was sitting in the airport waiting area reflecting on all this when a lady sat next to me. We started chatting and I told her that I’d been bumped off the flight.

She asked why I wasn’t complete losing it with the airline. How could I just be sitting there so happy and patient?

Part of the reason was that I didn’t have the energy to fight. I was exhausted. But also, shouting and getting angry would not influence the external environment. It would not put me into a worse headspace. The only thing I had control over was my own mind, and I just aimed to look after that instead.

I grabbed myself a cool drink and waited it out. And at the last minute, got a call up as there was one free seat.

I made it back in time and got to watch the cricket at Newlands with friends.

And despite everything that happened today, I go to sleep happy

Image was taken at 4.30am when I was leaving the house. The image doesn’t quite capture it, but the clouds were suspended and so still that it looked like a painting.

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