Rowan Spazzoli

I saw a video of Seth Godin yesterday where he gives a way of thinking about why we would fear judgement. In a tribe, if you put yourself out there and went wrong, you could be kicked out the tribe and then probably die.

But now days, it matter’s far less. If a group of people start ignoring you or hating you, it might suck. But you are unlikely to die of cold because of it.

In fact, putting yourself out there is more likely to bring more people in. For example, since starting this blog I’ve become more connected with existing friends and family because of it. And I’ve had a number of people reach out to me, from entrepreneurs to government officials.

We still carry around the fear of judgement. It’s hard wired into us.

And the best way to get through it is to train yourself that it doesn’t matter. And you can do this by putting yourself out there, again and again.

Until the feeling fades.

And you’re able to express yourself, exactly as you want to.

Image was taken in our last night of our holiday 🙂

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Song of the day: Majozi - Waiting

Everyone has had to do a hard reset on a piece of technology before. Whether it’s holding down the buttons on a phone or pulling the battery out of a laptop. We’re not entirely sure how it works, but sometimes when something is on the fritz it’s best to just disconnect it and start over again.

This past holiday was that hard reset for me. A complete disconnect. A restart. Removing the battery, dusting off and trying again.

And now the loading screen has finished doing it’s thing. I’ve been rebooted and I’m ready to take things on again 🙂

Image was taken on an early morning fishing excursion on our holiday

Blog: 277/365

Song of the day: Jay-Z - Forever Young

In a previous blogpost I mentioned that our group of high school friends make an effort to go away at least once a year. As part of this, we’ve established a great tradition: The Ashes Tournament.

The Ashes is a competition between the five friends (or between the regions were the friends live, e.g. Joburg vs Cape Town). Whenever we have our holidays, we dedicate the last night to the tournament. We’ll choose a game and set the rules, and the winner holds the title until the next vacation.

This all started during an online match last year. The two from Joburg bet a bottle of whiskey that they could beat the team from Cape Town in a FIFA tournament.

Sadly, the Joburg team won.

And when I was in Switzerland, I bought them a bottle of whiskey. The size hadn’t been specified, so I bought a small bottle. Just to spite them. But I bought a very rare type of whiskey from the distillery itself. So it was quite special.

Here’s a picture of them with their prize:

When we met up in August last year we formalized the tournament. The boys from Joburg drank their whiskey, shared a little with us, and all five of us smoked cigars together. We then put the ashes in the whiskey bottle and the ashes floating trophy was born. (The name is a play on the ashes from the famous England vs Australia cricket tournament).

Then, another FIFA tournament was held, with a “best of five” format chosen. The team from Joburg went 2-0 up, but our team from Cape Town fought back valiantly to claim a 3-2 victory.

It was a spectacular win, and we were sure to be petty about our victory all the way home. 

Here is me being petty, holding the trophy (and belt) in a field of yellow flowers

Here is me being even more petty by holding the trophy (and belt) under a double rainbow:

This year, we held a round robin Tekken tournament. After the first round we were basically all tied. And after the second, one person from the Joburg team and one from the Cape Town team made it into the final.

Sadly, a member of the Joburg team won again.

A Great Tradition

This tournament has created some phenomenal banter, from both sides. And, more importantly, it has established a great tradition in our friend group.

The trophy will go around for many years from now. We’ll hold the tournaments once we have each gotten married. We’ll continue when we have families. And continue to do so when we’re in the old age homes.

And finally, we had a really bittersweet realization when we were chatting about the tournament this week. One day (hopefully in the very distant future), there will only be one of us left. The last member of the crew. The final winner of the trophy.

And it is both a very sad and very beautiful thought that one day, one of us might be buried with the trophy…..

And have ALLLLLLLL the bragging rights in the afterlife 🙂

Image was taken on the last day of the ashes and belt being in the mother city. But don’t worry, I’ll be bringing them back next year 🙂

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Song of the day: Queen - We are the champions

As we move from being children to being adults, our relationships with people in our lives change. Where we used to interact with parents, uncles/aunts, god parents, family friends as children, we now interact with them as fully grown people.

However, sometimes this transition is difficult. Playing the role of the child might be ingrained into us. Or the adult might be used to treating us as a kid.

And this can lead to strained relationships, where a person in their 20s is too dependent on their parent. Or where a parent is too overbearing on their now-adult son or daughter.

One of the best remedies for this is to set boundaries. To decide what you want from your relationship and make sure that you stick to this.

For example, if a parent puts too much pressure regarding careers or finding a spouse, set a boundary where they are aware that you don’t wish to speak with them about such issues.

It’s difficult to establish, but once you set some boundaries you’ll likely find that you’re less stressed and that your relationship improves

Image was taken on our friend vacation this week 🙂

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Song of the day: Taylor Swift - Bad Blood

Apart from playing computer games, we’ve spent a substantial portion of the holiday fishing. We haven’t caught a single thing yet, but I’ve realised that catching fish is only part of the enjoyment.

If the enjoyment lay exclusively in catching the fish, then we could just go to a trout farm, drop a line in one of the tanks and nab a fish

But that’s not where the fun lies.

Instead, most of the joy in fishing is before you ever catch a fish.

It’s waking up early and seeing the sun rise. It’s watching the steam rise off the lake with the mountains in the background. It’s talking to other fishermen and asking them what techniques they’re using. It’s getting the perfect cast.

And it’s in having a beer with friends in nature.

Catching the fish is great. But most of the fun happens before that.

Image was taken in Clarens on our 2014 holiday 🙂

Blog 274/365

Song of the day: Old Pine – Ben Howard

A big part of our friend vacations is playing computer games. These include classic titles such as Starcraft, Left 4 Dead, Age of Empires, God of War and Counter Strike. It’s a tradition that started in our teenage years, with LANs, and has continued during our getaways.

Part of what makes it so entertaining is that you’re transported to another world for a little while. You’ll be a survivor in a zombie apocalypse and, alongside your friends, you must fight to escape the hoards. Or you’re an alien race building a big military base in an effort to defeat other civilisations.

Whatever the game is, it allows us to escape reality, and interact with one another in the virtual world. And once we finish a game, we’ll talk about the battles as if they actually took place.

We play computer games far less than we used to. But it’s still a great way to unwind and to connect with friends

Image is of the loading screen of Counter Strike, one of our favourite games

Blog:  273/365

Song of the day: Highway to the danger zone

Our group of school friends are really close, and the five of us try to go on away together once a year, usually in August. We’ve been to Durban, Sedgefield (multiple times), Cape Town and Wilderness. And for our current holiday we’re in Verlorenkloof, in Mpumalanga.

The holidays we go on involve a glorious amount of chilling. We bring our computers, a playstation, a bunch of movies and a substantial volume of food. And the entire holiday is spent relaxing, eating, napping and playing computer games.

It’s the perfect way to rest in the middle of the year. To zone out and reset.

It’s a tradition that I hope continues well into our old age 🙂

P.s. blog posts are likely to be delayed over the next few days due to vacation and lack of internet 🙂

Image was taken on our holiday in Clarens in 2014

Blog:  272/365

Song of the day: Numb/Encore – Linkin Park and Jay Z